Funny – Hoots of a Night Al

15 Not-So-Scary Halloween Movies!

October 4, 2015 6 Comments

Happy October everyone! This month, my husband and I decided to make a list of movies to watch together for Halloween-time. The only catch was that I’m not a huge fan of scary movies. And by “not a huge fan,” I mean I won’t watch them under any circumstances. For that reason, we compiled a list of some “Not-So-Scary” Halloween movies to enjoy with each other! Below are 15 movies from our list that I wanted to share in case there are any scaredy-cats like me out there.

The Addams Family

Creepy, kooky, mysterious, spooky…you can’t go wrong spending a couple of hours with The Addams family.

Arachnophobia

Harry from Dumb & Dumber as a doctor trying save a town overrun with spiders…what could be better?

The ‘Burbs

This hilarious mystery involves Tom Hanks spying on his sketchy new neighbors with some eccentric sidekicks.

It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

Charlie, Linus, Snoopy and the gang are together again to share some Halloween adventures in a timeless family classic! Corpse Bride

The unbeatable combination of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton means this stop-motion movie gets a little creepy, but it’s still full of fun. Dark Shadows

This remake shows Johnny Depp as an ancient vampire trying to restore his family and their estate to greatness. Young Frankenstein

“No, it’s pronounced ‘Fronkensteen.'” Ghostbusters (1 & 2)

These are some of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen, and I mean that in the best way. Harry Potter (1-7)

Based on the greatest series ever written, all eight of these movies are perfect to watch any time of year.
Hocus Pocus

Witches, Salem, Halloween night, a black cat…the perfect combination for some not-so-scary entertainment.
Hotel Transylvania

A comedy with Adam Sandler that turns typically spooky monsters into friendly characters? My kind of Halloween movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas

A stellar soundtrack accompanies this quirky love story about pursuing your dreams. Shaun of the Dead

This gory horror-comedy is full of British humor and a few moments that made me jump. Toy Story of Terror!

Our favorite toys are back on an adventure that, as always, leads to them getting in a bind and relying on each other.

Casper

This heart-warming classic was a favorite in my VHS collection growing up, and it still is. Warning: It’s a tearjerker.

I hope this gives you a few alternative movie options to consider during the “month of horror!” I’m thankful Louis is willing to sacrifice watching typically scary movies to watch these with me! Let me know if you have any other Not-So-Scary Halloween movies to add to our growing list!

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A Farewell to my Baby Tooth.

June 18, 2015 3 Comments

Dear Baby Tooth,

I’m sorry we finally had to part ways. You were so faithful and dutiful. It wasn’t your fault that a permanent tooth never developed to replace you. You just carried on amongst your bigger peers as though you were meant to be there.

I’ve seen you getting grayer over the years. The x-rays showed what I always feared; your roots were dwindling. Some dentists told me I needed to have you pulled. Some dentists said you could last my entire life wedged between my other teeth. I felt like you were in it for the long haul. That was until we met with Dr. Gies. (Pronounced ‘geese’…may or may not be pictured below.)

He took some ~~glamour shots~~ photos up close that displayed my worst fear. You were decaying. He said over time you would probably spread your decay to my other teeth and then crumble away. I didn’t want to admit it to you, but I knew it was time to say farewell.

I made the appointment, and the following morning, we had a little photoshoot together before heading into surgery.

Some numbing gel, oral sedation pills, shots, and nitrous oxide (what? I was nervous!) later, Dr. Gies placed the forceps around you and removed you from me forever. Minutes later, I had an implant screwed into my jawbone and a temporary tooth attached.

Just know that even once my implant is osseointegrated and I get my new porcelain crown, nothing will ever take your place in my mouth. We smiled together, enjoyed delicious meals together, and made so many memories. You were with me before any of my other permanent teeth, and I’ll never forget you.

Thanks for everything, baby tooth. <3

Humor

More Like Inconvenience Store.

February 3, 2015 7 Comments

A couple of weekends ago, Louis and I were relaxing at home on a Saturday night. Between movies, we decided we were craving some snacks, so we headed to our nearby convenience store to grab some goodies. When we pulled up, we hopped out, and tried to head inside. I pulled on the door only to realize it was locked. Only then, did I realize a hastily scribbled note taped to the door: ~~BE BACK~~ REOPEN 5 MINUTES.

Louis and I looked at each other confused for a moment before a lady in a parked car yelled out to us, “He had to go to the bathroom…said he’d be right back!” Slightly bewildered, Louis and I returned to my car to wait for the mystery employee to return. We watched, inconsiderately snickering, when several people walked up and tried to open to doors to the store.

A few minutes passed…then five…then ten. We began to speculate about the poor employee inside. We both agreed…he must have diarrhea. What else would cause him to force everyone out of the store, scribble a note, and lock up so quickly? We agreed we would wait a few more moments before leaving to go to a different corner store. After around fifteen minutes, a slightly sweaty young man was seen walking over to unlock the front door and let in the short line of customers that had formed.

We started to get out to head inside before we both suddenly stopped. Did this poor young man have diarrhea? If so, what if he didn’t wash his hands post-poop in his haste to return to his job? Would I want his fecal matter on my Chili Cheese Fritos? Did he have residue (resi-DOO, if you will), on the fingers that would grab my debit card to swipe? Would the runs cause him to run off again mid-transaction? Is that something we wanted to risk? Nope.

With those nasty thoughts, we backed out and drove down the road to a different corner store. My thoughts and condolences go out to the employee suffering that night. I sincerely hope he invested in some Imodium for future solo shifts. Best wishes, random employee. May the only number two in your future be a second coworker to cover for you.

P.S. Was this post too random and gross? Sorry, not sorry.

Humor

Hoots of a Night Juan?

January 30, 2015 6 Comments

Hi! I know I kind of dropped out for a bit there, but I had strep throat…maybe. Let me explain. 🙂

Last Thursday my throat started feeling scratchy, and by Saturday morning it was so swollen and painful to swallow. Since it was a weekend, our doctor wasn’t open, so we headed to a nearby urgent care clinic. We had visited once before when Louis was sick, and I was just desperate for some medicine.

Thankfully when we arrived there was only one other couple in the waiting room, so I filled out the necessary paperwork and waited to get called back. About ten minutes later, a nurse walked out.

Nurse 1: “Aisle?” *looks around waiting room at us and the other couple* “Aisle?”

Me (thinking): Maybe that guy’s name is Kyle, and she’s looking for him?

Nurse 1: “Um…Aisle?”

Receptionist: “Are you looking for Ali?”

Nurse 1: “Uh, yeah. Ali.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry I thought you were saying…never mind.”

I got up and walked back with Louis down the hall with Nurse 1. Another nurse was standing in the hallway, and started talking to Nurse 1.

Nurse 2: “Oh, is that my sore throat patient?”

Nurse 1: “Nope, this is my abdominal pain patient. I’m taking her to Room 4.”

Nurse 2: “Oh okay good, I’m not ready.”

Me: “Um…I’m here for a sore throat…”

Nurse 1: “Oh! Haha! Gosh, guess I grabbed the wrong file! That could have been bad!”

Me: “Oh..ha…yeah…”

Nurse 2: “Oops! Guess you’re mine! Um, I’m not ready so you can just stand in Room 1.”

Me: “…thank you.”

It was obviously off to an interesting start. Louis and I waited for a few minutes in Room 1, until Nurse 2 arrived again and finished setting everything up.

Nurse 2: “Sorry! I’m so brain dead! My shift usually isn’t at this time. I had to get here so early this morning, so I’m totally out of it. I can’t think straight!”

That’s always comforting to hear from the medical staff working with you. We chatted for a bit about my symptoms, and she swabbed my throat for a strep test. The test takes a few minutes process, so Louis and I were left again to wait for the results. At this point, I realized how hot I was. I’m not sure if I was running a low grade fever or what, but I started sweating. I don’t mean lightly perspiring. I mean, I was dripping in sweat. I had on gray yoga pants and a gray hoodie because it was cold when we left the apartment, but I was DYING of heat in the clinic. By the time the physician assistant came in, I was embarrassingly sweaty.

Physician Assistant: “Hello, what seems to be the problem today?”

We discussed my symptoms, and she let me know that while the strep test came back negative, they were still going to treat me for strep.

Physician Assistant: “I’m going to go ahead and look at your throat and listen to your lungs and heart.”

Me (somewhat awkwardly): “Okay, let me go ahead and apologize in advance, I’m very sweaty. I’m not sure why, it’s just SO hot in here.”

Physician Assistant: “Oh, no worries! I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Me: “No, I’m extremely sweaty.”

Physician Assistant: “Um, okay.”

She began checking me out, and eventually asked me to lay down to press around on my stomach to see if my spleen was enlarged (apparently a symptom of mono). When I laid down, I had SWEAT MARKS on my yoga pants where my legs were bent from sitting. SWEAT MARKS. Stupid, gray yoga pants.

Physician Assistant: “Oh!…Did you work out before coming here? You’re…really sweaty.”

Me: “Uh, no. I’m sick. I told you I was sweating. Sorry…I’m just really hot.”

Physician Assistant (probably extremely grossed out by this point): “Oh…well, that’s odd. I’m thinking we should do a couple more tests, since you’re sweating so much.”

Awesome. So awkward. And gross enough that she wanted to run more tests. Cool. She eventually left (I’m sure to run her hands under scalding water after having to touch my sweat), and we were left to wait for another period of time. Finally, Nurse 3 arrived.

Nurse 3: “Hi, I spoke to the physician assistant, and she wants me to do tests for mono and the flu on you. The flu test is a nasal swab, and the mono test is a finger prick.”

Me: “NO!”

Nurse 3: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “I’m just really scared. Is it going to hurt? I’m scared to get my finger pricked. Is it going to hurt? I’m worried.”

Nurse 3: “I mean it’s not fun, but it’s not that bad. It doesn’t hurt too much. Have you ever had a mono test before?”

Me: “No.”

Nurse 3: “Oh, then yeah, it doesn’t hurt that bad.”

Me: “You’re lying. You asked me if I have had one before, so you could tell me it didn’t hurt. I know you’re lying.”

Nurse 3: “Um, no it’s really not that bad.”

Me: “I’m scared, I don’t want to do it.”

Nurse 3: “Okay, I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Louis: “Just let him do it. It doesn’t hurt that bad, and you want to make sure you don’t have mono.”

Me: “You don’t know. You’re both lying. I’m scared. Does it hurt? I’m not sure I want to do it.”

Nurse 3: “Okay, well if not that’s fine, but I have a lot of patients to see. If you don’t want it, just let me know, and I’ll leave.”

Me: “No, you can do it. No, wait! I’m scared. Okay, do it. No wait!”

This went on for about thirty minutes. Not really, I’m sure it was only about twenty seconds. I was just so embarrassed I was being such a wimp, but so scared at the same time. I could tell Nurse 3 was getting super annoyed, Louis was laughing at me for being so ridiculous, and I was having a huge internal struggle. I finally let Nurse 3 do the mono test, and, honestly, I didn’t even feel it. What a waste of emotion and embarrassment. Honestly, the nose swab flu test hurt worse than the finger prick! I’m sure I gave Nurse 3 plenty to talk about to his coworkers. (“Yeah, that chick in Room 1 is such a wuss and super annoying.”)

Once he left, we waited longer for those test results to come back. Finally, our Physician Assistant returned.

Physician Assistant: “Well, all the tests came back negative, so…we’re just going to treat you for strep.”

Me: “Oh…alright.”

Physician Assistant: “So, at this point, I’ve decided to give you a steroid shot for the inflammation, and you can either get a penicillin shot or I can give you a prescription to take the penicillin orally. It’s up to you, one shot or two?”

Had she not heard the exchange I had with Nurse 3 over a finger prick? When Louis came to this clinic before, they gave him a steroid shot as well. He said it felt like someone branded him. As in, poked him with a fire-hot metal rod. No, thanks. He denies claiming it hurt that much, but I remember what he said!

Me: “Neither. I want no shots. And I want the penicillin orally.”

Physician Assistant: “Oh…you don’t want the steroid shot for the inflammation?”

Me: “Nope. I’ll just take some Tylenol. Just the prescription please.”

With that we were on our way out the door and heading to the pharmacy to get my medicine. I have no doubt the shots would have healed me quicker, but I had used up all my bravery for my finger prick.

I was feeling much better a few days later, when I got a call from an unknown number. I never answer when I don’t know the number, but thankfully they left a message. It was the urgent care clinic calling to check up on me…sort of…

Voicemail: “Hello, this is the urgent care clinic. We are calling to check on Juan. We know he came in a few days ago when he was sick, so we just wanted to see if the treatment plan was working. Please give us a call back.”

I quickly called back hoping they weren’t already on the phone discussing my medical history with another random person.

Me: “Hi, I just got a call from someone. I think they were trying to check up on me, but they said they were calling for Juan….so…I’m not really sure.”

Receptionist: “Oh…hold on.” *30 seconds on hold* “Ummm…yeah, we were calling to check on you. How are you?”

Me: “Much better, thank you. So, just to make sure, my file isn’t mislabeled? I just want to make sure my information isn’t being given to someone else.”

Receptionist: “No, probably not. No, definitely not. It was just a weird mistake. Glad you’re feeling better! Goodbye!”

So, with that parting statement, I’m pretty confident I cannot/will not ever return to that particular urgent care clinic. Between me sweating through my clothes, being a wuss about a finger prick, and being referred to as both ‘Aisle’ and ‘Juan,’ I think it’s safe to say I need to move on. I guess next time I’m sick, I’ll be heading to a different doctor.

Thanks for reading through this wall of text, and if you’re wondering, I’m feeling 100% better. 🙂 Until next time!

Humor

Stories of a Sub.

March 20, 2014 8 Comments

As I’ve mentioned before, I occasionally substitute teach in our district. So far, I’ve only chosen to sub in middle schools, and it has worked out great. Mostly because middle schoolers are at their peak awkwardness. And yes, my header is a little dramatic…my experience subbing for these little devils has not been reminiscent of a creepy murder scene. However, they can be challenging at times to say the least. Here’s a little chronicle of some of my more interesting experiences thus far.

Best lunchbox ever. Everyone needs a PackIt.

First of all, every school I substitute in has morning announcements during 1st period. They start with the pledges, and EVERY TIME, I say the Texas pledge wrong. Want to know why? They CHANGED IT since I was in school! It is now, “Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.” Apparently it changed in 2007 with the addition of “one state under God.” Who knew? Well every middle school student I guess because I’m the only person that jacks it up every morning. Note: Learn the pledge.

I love when teachers leave me seating charts because I can call kids by name, and it totally freaks them out. Sometimes, albeit rarely, all it takes is a “Jimmy, stop talking!” and the rest of class I have a quiet, wide-eyed boy who’s mesmerized that I mysteriously know his name. A few weeks ago, I subbed for a teacher who added descriptives next to students on her seating chart…perhaps to help her remember who was who early in the year? It was very entertaining for me because the adjectives included: best, smart, sweet, tall, amazing, weird, fun, colorful, random, and another tall. I think weird, best, and tall were my favorites. Note: They were all very accurate.

I did love that teacher’s seating charts but not her grammar…she used the wrong ‘there’ on her instructions! Ugh. She wrote: “Turn in their papers when THEIR done.” Gross. If you’re teaching our future generation, you should at least be able to figure out there, their, and they’re! And your and you’re for that matter! Get it together teachers. (Also, now that I’ve complained about grammar on my blog, I’m sure I’ll make a huge error soon.) Note: Proofread posts multiple times.

One morning, as I was reviewing my assignment for the day, I saw a small carton on the teacher’s desk. I tipped it towards me and saw it was full of small black and white spheres with red lights. I set it back down on the desk, and suddenly all of the red lights lit up and the spheres started beeping. Y’all, my immediate thought was that they were bombs, and the teacher hated her job and students, so she planted bombs and called in a sub to do her dirty work. I was seconds from sprinting out of the classroom when they stopped beeping and lit up different numbers. I then realized they were dice. Crisis averted. Does anyone else jump to the worst possible scenario possible first? Note: Stop overreacting.

My face half time time I’m subbing trying to figure out these kids…

Whenever I take attendance each period, I always try my best to pronounce each student’s name correctly. Growing up, subs always pronounced Ali like Muhammad Ali. I understand that they’re spelled the same, but to this day I get mail addressed to Mr. Ali…awkward. Anyway, while taking attendance one day, I reached the last name on the sheet, and it was: Abcde. I said, “Is someone’s name in here actually A-B-C-D-E or is this a typo?” A girl replied, “Oh, that’s me! It’s Ab-suh-dee.” Obviously. Note: Sound it out? (But not, because then I would have said Ab-kuh-duh.)

In that same class, a 7TH GRADE boy came up to me and asked what we were doing for the day. That wasn’t so out of the ordinary. What was awkward was the fact that he looked me in the eyes and asked me while picking his nose. We’re talking finger halfway up the nostril, digging for gold, totally unashamed. I somewhat awkwardly responded that it was a free day, and he strolled over, dislodged his finger, and started typing on the class computer. Note: Always bring hand sanitizer when subbing.

Until next time…

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