Humor – Hoots of a Night Al

A Farewell to my Baby Tooth.

June 18, 2015 3 Comments

Dear Baby Tooth,

I’m sorry we finally had to part ways. You were so faithful and dutiful. It wasn’t your fault that a permanent tooth never developed to replace you. You just carried on amongst your bigger peers as though you were meant to be there.

I’ve seen you getting grayer over the years. The x-rays showed what I always feared; your roots were dwindling. Some dentists told me I needed to have you pulled. Some dentists said you could last my entire life wedged between my other teeth. I felt like you were in it for the long haul. That was until we met with Dr. Gies. (Pronounced ‘geese’…may or may not be pictured below.)

He took some ~~glamour shots~~ photos up close that displayed my worst fear. You were decaying. He said over time you would probably spread your decay to my other teeth and then crumble away. I didn’t want to admit it to you, but I knew it was time to say farewell.

I made the appointment, and the following morning, we had a little photoshoot together before heading into surgery.

Some numbing gel, oral sedation pills, shots, and nitrous oxide (what? I was nervous!) later, Dr. Gies placed the forceps around you and removed you from me forever. Minutes later, I had an implant screwed into my jawbone and a temporary tooth attached.

Just know that even once my implant is osseointegrated and I get my new porcelain crown, nothing will ever take your place in my mouth. We smiled together, enjoyed delicious meals together, and made so many memories. You were with me before any of my other permanent teeth, and I’ll never forget you.

Thanks for everything, baby tooth. <3

Humor

More Like Inconvenience Store.

February 3, 2015 7 Comments

A couple of weekends ago, Louis and I were relaxing at home on a Saturday night. Between movies, we decided we were craving some snacks, so we headed to our nearby convenience store to grab some goodies. When we pulled up, we hopped out, and tried to head inside. I pulled on the door only to realize it was locked. Only then, did I realize a hastily scribbled note taped to the door: ~~BE BACK~~ REOPEN 5 MINUTES.

Louis and I looked at each other confused for a moment before a lady in a parked car yelled out to us, “He had to go to the bathroom…said he’d be right back!” Slightly bewildered, Louis and I returned to my car to wait for the mystery employee to return. We watched, inconsiderately snickering, when several people walked up and tried to open to doors to the store.

A few minutes passed…then five…then ten. We began to speculate about the poor employee inside. We both agreed…he must have diarrhea. What else would cause him to force everyone out of the store, scribble a note, and lock up so quickly? We agreed we would wait a few more moments before leaving to go to a different corner store. After around fifteen minutes, a slightly sweaty young man was seen walking over to unlock the front door and let in the short line of customers that had formed.

We started to get out to head inside before we both suddenly stopped. Did this poor young man have diarrhea? If so, what if he didn’t wash his hands post-poop in his haste to return to his job? Would I want his fecal matter on my Chili Cheese Fritos? Did he have residue (resi-DOO, if you will), on the fingers that would grab my debit card to swipe? Would the runs cause him to run off again mid-transaction? Is that something we wanted to risk? Nope.

With those nasty thoughts, we backed out and drove down the road to a different corner store. My thoughts and condolences go out to the employee suffering that night. I sincerely hope he invested in some Imodium for future solo shifts. Best wishes, random employee. May the only number two in your future be a second coworker to cover for you.

P.S. Was this post too random and gross? Sorry, not sorry.

Humor

Hoots of a Night Juan?

January 30, 2015 6 Comments

Hi! I know I kind of dropped out for a bit there, but I had strep throat…maybe. Let me explain. 🙂

Last Thursday my throat started feeling scratchy, and by Saturday morning it was so swollen and painful to swallow. Since it was a weekend, our doctor wasn’t open, so we headed to a nearby urgent care clinic. We had visited once before when Louis was sick, and I was just desperate for some medicine.

Thankfully when we arrived there was only one other couple in the waiting room, so I filled out the necessary paperwork and waited to get called back. About ten minutes later, a nurse walked out.

Nurse 1: “Aisle?” *looks around waiting room at us and the other couple* “Aisle?”

Me (thinking): Maybe that guy’s name is Kyle, and she’s looking for him?

Nurse 1: “Um…Aisle?”

Receptionist: “Are you looking for Ali?”

Nurse 1: “Uh, yeah. Ali.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry I thought you were saying…never mind.”

I got up and walked back with Louis down the hall with Nurse 1. Another nurse was standing in the hallway, and started talking to Nurse 1.

Nurse 2: “Oh, is that my sore throat patient?”

Nurse 1: “Nope, this is my abdominal pain patient. I’m taking her to Room 4.”

Nurse 2: “Oh okay good, I’m not ready.”

Me: “Um…I’m here for a sore throat…”

Nurse 1: “Oh! Haha! Gosh, guess I grabbed the wrong file! That could have been bad!”

Me: “Oh..ha…yeah…”

Nurse 2: “Oops! Guess you’re mine! Um, I’m not ready so you can just stand in Room 1.”

Me: “…thank you.”

It was obviously off to an interesting start. Louis and I waited for a few minutes in Room 1, until Nurse 2 arrived again and finished setting everything up.

Nurse 2: “Sorry! I’m so brain dead! My shift usually isn’t at this time. I had to get here so early this morning, so I’m totally out of it. I can’t think straight!”

That’s always comforting to hear from the medical staff working with you. We chatted for a bit about my symptoms, and she swabbed my throat for a strep test. The test takes a few minutes process, so Louis and I were left again to wait for the results. At this point, I realized how hot I was. I’m not sure if I was running a low grade fever or what, but I started sweating. I don’t mean lightly perspiring. I mean, I was dripping in sweat. I had on gray yoga pants and a gray hoodie because it was cold when we left the apartment, but I was DYING of heat in the clinic. By the time the physician assistant came in, I was embarrassingly sweaty.

Physician Assistant: “Hello, what seems to be the problem today?”

We discussed my symptoms, and she let me know that while the strep test came back negative, they were still going to treat me for strep.

Physician Assistant: “I’m going to go ahead and look at your throat and listen to your lungs and heart.”

Me (somewhat awkwardly): “Okay, let me go ahead and apologize in advance, I’m very sweaty. I’m not sure why, it’s just SO hot in here.”

Physician Assistant: “Oh, no worries! I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Me: “No, I’m extremely sweaty.”

Physician Assistant: “Um, okay.”

She began checking me out, and eventually asked me to lay down to press around on my stomach to see if my spleen was enlarged (apparently a symptom of mono). When I laid down, I had SWEAT MARKS on my yoga pants where my legs were bent from sitting. SWEAT MARKS. Stupid, gray yoga pants.

Physician Assistant: “Oh!…Did you work out before coming here? You’re…really sweaty.”

Me: “Uh, no. I’m sick. I told you I was sweating. Sorry…I’m just really hot.”

Physician Assistant (probably extremely grossed out by this point): “Oh…well, that’s odd. I’m thinking we should do a couple more tests, since you’re sweating so much.”

Awesome. So awkward. And gross enough that she wanted to run more tests. Cool. She eventually left (I’m sure to run her hands under scalding water after having to touch my sweat), and we were left to wait for another period of time. Finally, Nurse 3 arrived.

Nurse 3: “Hi, I spoke to the physician assistant, and she wants me to do tests for mono and the flu on you. The flu test is a nasal swab, and the mono test is a finger prick.”

Me: “NO!”

Nurse 3: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “I’m just really scared. Is it going to hurt? I’m scared to get my finger pricked. Is it going to hurt? I’m worried.”

Nurse 3: “I mean it’s not fun, but it’s not that bad. It doesn’t hurt too much. Have you ever had a mono test before?”

Me: “No.”

Nurse 3: “Oh, then yeah, it doesn’t hurt that bad.”

Me: “You’re lying. You asked me if I have had one before, so you could tell me it didn’t hurt. I know you’re lying.”

Nurse 3: “Um, no it’s really not that bad.”

Me: “I’m scared, I don’t want to do it.”

Nurse 3: “Okay, I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Louis: “Just let him do it. It doesn’t hurt that bad, and you want to make sure you don’t have mono.”

Me: “You don’t know. You’re both lying. I’m scared. Does it hurt? I’m not sure I want to do it.”

Nurse 3: “Okay, well if not that’s fine, but I have a lot of patients to see. If you don’t want it, just let me know, and I’ll leave.”

Me: “No, you can do it. No, wait! I’m scared. Okay, do it. No wait!”

This went on for about thirty minutes. Not really, I’m sure it was only about twenty seconds. I was just so embarrassed I was being such a wimp, but so scared at the same time. I could tell Nurse 3 was getting super annoyed, Louis was laughing at me for being so ridiculous, and I was having a huge internal struggle. I finally let Nurse 3 do the mono test, and, honestly, I didn’t even feel it. What a waste of emotion and embarrassment. Honestly, the nose swab flu test hurt worse than the finger prick! I’m sure I gave Nurse 3 plenty to talk about to his coworkers. (“Yeah, that chick in Room 1 is such a wuss and super annoying.”)

Once he left, we waited longer for those test results to come back. Finally, our Physician Assistant returned.

Physician Assistant: “Well, all the tests came back negative, so…we’re just going to treat you for strep.”

Me: “Oh…alright.”

Physician Assistant: “So, at this point, I’ve decided to give you a steroid shot for the inflammation, and you can either get a penicillin shot or I can give you a prescription to take the penicillin orally. It’s up to you, one shot or two?”

Had she not heard the exchange I had with Nurse 3 over a finger prick? When Louis came to this clinic before, they gave him a steroid shot as well. He said it felt like someone branded him. As in, poked him with a fire-hot metal rod. No, thanks. He denies claiming it hurt that much, but I remember what he said!

Me: “Neither. I want no shots. And I want the penicillin orally.”

Physician Assistant: “Oh…you don’t want the steroid shot for the inflammation?”

Me: “Nope. I’ll just take some Tylenol. Just the prescription please.”

With that we were on our way out the door and heading to the pharmacy to get my medicine. I have no doubt the shots would have healed me quicker, but I had used up all my bravery for my finger prick.

I was feeling much better a few days later, when I got a call from an unknown number. I never answer when I don’t know the number, but thankfully they left a message. It was the urgent care clinic calling to check up on me…sort of…

Voicemail: “Hello, this is the urgent care clinic. We are calling to check on Juan. We know he came in a few days ago when he was sick, so we just wanted to see if the treatment plan was working. Please give us a call back.”

I quickly called back hoping they weren’t already on the phone discussing my medical history with another random person.

Me: “Hi, I just got a call from someone. I think they were trying to check up on me, but they said they were calling for Juan….so…I’m not really sure.”

Receptionist: “Oh…hold on.” *30 seconds on hold* “Ummm…yeah, we were calling to check on you. How are you?”

Me: “Much better, thank you. So, just to make sure, my file isn’t mislabeled? I just want to make sure my information isn’t being given to someone else.”

Receptionist: “No, probably not. No, definitely not. It was just a weird mistake. Glad you’re feeling better! Goodbye!”

So, with that parting statement, I’m pretty confident I cannot/will not ever return to that particular urgent care clinic. Between me sweating through my clothes, being a wuss about a finger prick, and being referred to as both ‘Aisle’ and ‘Juan,’ I think it’s safe to say I need to move on. I guess next time I’m sick, I’ll be heading to a different doctor.

Thanks for reading through this wall of text, and if you’re wondering, I’m feeling 100% better. 🙂 Until next time!

Beauty, Humor

Tangle Teezer AKA The Official Brush of Disney Princesses

May 4, 2014 8 Comments

If you’ve read any of my posts that are littered with selfies, you’ve probably seen that I have long hair. Half of the time I feel like Merida because my tangles are so bad that I have to rip out half of my hair to get rid of them.

If I decide I don’t want to rip out half of my hair, it takes me as long as Rapunzel to brush out each and every knot.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any animal friends to manage my hair for me à la Pocahontas.

Enter: Tangle Teezer. I snagged this little brush for about $9 at Target a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been a serious game changer.

The Tangle Teezer was invented by a UK hairstylist, and it is without a doubt the best brush I’ve ever used. I think one of the best things about it is the fact that it can be used on wet or dry hair. I use it both when I get ready in the morning and to brush in my leave-in conditioner after showering.

It doesn’t even matter whether I’ve had my hair wadded up all day or been walking through a wind tunnel (What? Just go with it.), the Tangle Teezer glides through my hair like a hot knife through a stick of butter. I think it may be due to the fact that it has 1.8 million bristles. (Note: I have not, in fact counted the bristles.) It’s also great because I’ve noticed I’m pulling out far fewer hairs when I brush than when I use a regular paddle brush.

One thing I had to get used to was the fact that it didn’t have a handle, but now that I’ve been using it for a bit, I don’t even notice. Another thing worth mentioning is that it’s not meant to be used with heat, so don’t plan on using it while you style your hair. Also, it sort of bugs me that the name is Tangle Teezer since teasing your hair is literally the act of tangling it, but that’s just a personal note. I would have preferred Tangle Terminator, but there may have been some copyright issues.

So, if you’re sick of wasting hours being careful not to yank out your knotted hair, go pick up your own Tangle Teezer! You’ll be smiling like Jasmine in no time!

And Ariel! Except…no, not Ariel. She’s lookin’ kinda crazy here. Someone get that girl a Tangle Teezer.

Humor, Monthly Favorites

April Favorites!

May 1, 2014 4 Comments

It’s May! I’ve been looking forward to May for months because this is the month my 2nd nephew arrives!!! (Unless he’s super late…just kidding, Amy…that isn’t going to happen!) April was great, but it flew by! Here’s a little roundup of some of my favorite things of the month….

Dr. Pepper IN A CAN: Dr. Pepper is my favorite soda by far and my favorite drink after water. On snack runs, road trips, or to accompany popcorn it’s always my top pick. However, this month, I thankfully remembered what really sets it over the top. Drinking it out of a can. It may sound stupid to you, but I promise. Out of a can it’s a different consistency, a different flavor, a different experience. Don’t judge me until you try it. And if you disagree, don’t tell me. Because you’re wrong. Dr. Pepper out of a can for life. (Striped straw not necessary.)

Springy Jewelry: I’m all about these “statement pieces” lately. I guess the statement I’m making is, “I love this $9.80 necklace from Forever 21 that is probably turning my neck green at the moment.” Seriously though, I can’t bring myself to spend a ton of money on this fun jewelry, so my current collection is all from Forever 21 and under $15. I love pairing these necklaces with my Old Navy chambray tunics, and I wore these earrings with my Easter dress.

My Easter Dress: Speaking of my Easter dress, it was one of my favorite outfits from April. I found it on the clearance rack at Target, and I knew it would be perfect for Easter Sunday! It had such a fun pattern with so many pretty colors, so I paired it with my nude pumps and faux stone (thanks for the clarification Forever 21…I thought I was spending $5.80 on REAL diamond earrings) earrings for a fresh, pretty look. Perfect for celebrating Jesus and all that Easter means!

Easter: Easter was so great. It was filled with confetti eggs, Peeps cupcakes, Easter egg hunts, church, laughter, fun, and most importantly FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY. It’s hard living in a different city from our families, but it makes the time we spend at home so much sweeter. If I’m being honest, one of the best parts of the weekend was when my nephew called me “Alla.” He’s at the age where he’s really starting to talk, and I felt so special that he knew my name! Totally melted my heart. Side note: How precious are the chocolate covered strawberry “carrots” my mom made below? Love.

Pappasito’s: If you aren’t from Texas, first of all, I’m sorry. Secondly, you wouldn’t understand the magic that is Pappasito’s Cantina. Their thin, salted tortilla chips dipped in delicious roasted salsa followed by perfectly marinated beef fajitas wrapped in fresh tortillas and dipped in mantequilla is a heavenly experience. Louis and I have been craving it basically every day lately, but unfortunately they don’t exactly have Taco Bell prices. We’ve limited our visits to weekends, but I can’t get enough! Seriously, next time you eat Mexican food, make it Pappasito’s.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier: There haven’t been many movies we’ve wanted to see lately, but Captain America was a must-see! We love the Avengers movies, and Captain America may be my favorite Avenger…I just love America so much. Anyway, this movie was great! It was a little darker than the first Captain America, but it still had several funny moments, great action sequences, and crazy special effects. If you haven’t seen it, I’d recommend it!

This GIF: Because it is everything.

See ya, April. Howdy, May!

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